I cannot turn my brain off. And I have so much anger I want to punch a brick wall. It’s going to sound like all I want is pity. But I don’t. I’m only being up front- I do not have someone to turn to. I long for that when I have so much frustration going on. Everyone has their opinions and don’t agree or don’t like what I’m doing. Screw it. I’m going to take this shitty hand I’ve been dealt one day at a time and roll with the punches. I would love to see how others handle this if it were them. I would kill to see them handle it actually. I really wish that I could turn to HIM. The one who is adding to the frustration. To vent about my hatred toward my own brother and just to scream at the top of my lungs too. Instead I turn to this sad sad tumblr account of mine, and let it all out.
He was watching a MLB game. I asked if he could put on a recording of Kardashians. He did just that, no hesitation, just so I could watch a show I would like to after a long day. He put his want aside, quietly, and watched with me. This is the man God put in my life. To show me what selflessness and total love is. These small things are so big. I love you dad.